Unavailable, Unwilling, or Overwhelmed: When the Person You Chose Can’t Step In

What Happens When Your First Choice Can’t Act?

You did the right thing. You made an estate plan. You carefully chose someone you trust to carry out your wishes — maybe a sibling, close friend, or adult child. But what if that person can’t, won’t, or simply doesn’t show up when the time comes?

It’s not an unusual scenario. In fact, we see it more often than most people would expect.

Sometimes it’s timing — a sudden move, a demanding job, or a health issue that makes someone unavailable. Other times, it’s emotional — they’re not ready to take on the weight of responsibility, or they don’t feel comfortable navigating family dynamics. In rare but real cases, the person simply disappears from the picture altogether.

The plan is there. The need is urgent. But the person you trusted to lead... isn’t stepping in.

The Cost of Inaction

Without a ready and willing agent or trustee, your plan stalls. That might mean frozen accounts, court delays, or added stress on family members who are left to pick up the pieces.

Worse, if no backups are named, your loved ones may have to go through probate or petition the court for authority — a time-consuming and public process you were trying to avoid in the first place.

This isn't just a legal problem. It's a family problem.

Why We Build in Layers

At Rutkowski Law Firm, we treat estate planning like mission planning — because things rarely go exactly as expected. That’s why we help clients build in multiple layers of support.

That might include:

• Co-trustees, so no one carries the weight alone.
• Successor agents or executors to take over if your first choice can’t serve.
• Professional fiduciaries when objectivity or experience is needed.
• Instructions in your documents should give clear directions in uncertain situations.

This layered approach doesn’t complicate the plan — it strengthens it. It keeps things moving forward. And it gives your family clarity when they need it most.

Real Families. Real Outcomes.

We worked with one family in which the named trustee was a cousin who had always been close to the parents. But by the time he was needed, he had relocated abroad and wasn’t returning calls. Fortunately, the plan named a successor — someone who was local, trusted, and ready to act.

Because of that backup, the family avoided court, stayed on schedule, and maintained peace throughout the transition. That’s the kind of resilience you want in your estate plan.

It’s Not Just About One Person — It’s About the Team

Choosing the right person is important. But just as important is planning for the what-ifs. People move. Relationships shift. Life gets messy.

If your current plan only includes one agent, one trustee, or one executor — and no contingency — it’s time for a review. You deserve a plan that adapts to real life and protects your family no matter what happens.

Let’s Build a Plan That Works — Even When Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan

If you’re not sure your documents include the right backups, we can help. We’ll walk through your plan, identify any gaps, and strengthen your strategy so your loved ones aren’t left scrambling.

Reach out to schedule a review or consultation. One conversation today can prevent a crisis tomorrow.